Perspective

Roy's Reflections
by Roy Boswell

In 1858, the Illinois legislature, using an obscure statute, sent Stephen A. Douglas to the United States Senate instead of Abraham Lincoln, even though Lincoln had won the popular vote. When a sympathetic friend asked Lincoln how he felt, he said, “Like the boy who stubbed his toe: I am too big to cry and too badly hurt to laugh.” When faced with disappointment, many of us find ourselves in the same position as Abraham Lincoln — unsure of our response. Do we laugh? Do we cry? Or do we simply give up?

C.S. Lewis was once asked the question that eventually appears on every believer’s radar screen, “Why do the righteous suffer?” His reply was, “Why not? They’re the only ones who can take it.” From a Christian perspective, dealing with disappointment is a good news/bad news story. The bad news is that our relationship with God does not exclude us from discouragement, tragedy, heartache, pain, or suffering. The good news is that our relationship with God equips us to handle disappointment in positive and constructive ways. Yet, in the midst of distress, many of us wonder if, as C.S. Lewis suggested, we can really take it.

This is precisely why the inspired word of God includes the story of Job, God’s faithful servant who gained the dubious honor of being the world’s foremost expert on human suffering. In his honest, no-holds-barred tug-of-war between faith and suffering, Job teaches us the value of working through our difficulties instead of being dominated by them. His experience accurately reflects the observation of Helen Keller who said, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of sufferings.”

Those of you who have read the book of Job know that, despite his open laments toward God, Job remains faithful and God rewards him by giving Job twice as much as he had before. Because we know the ending, many of us fail to grasp the full impact of Job’s experience. In the midst of his immense emotional and physical anguish, Job does not know how things in his life are going to turn out. He does not know that he will have more sons and daughters and grandchildren. All he knows is the unbearable pain of burying all ten of his children. Job does not know that he will be twice as rich as he was before. All he knows is the nagging anxiety of financial ruin. Job does not know that his reputation will grow and that his faith will inspire a multitude of generations. All he knows are the cruel accusations of his friends who say that his suffering must be the result of some hideous secret sin. Job does not know that his relationship with God will be stronger and deeper and more satisfying than ever before. All he knows is that God seems to be absent and uncaring.

We don’t have God’s eternal perspective in which to view our life’s story. Consequently, all many of us are able to see at this moment in time is a marriage that’s failing, a family divided, a bank statement that exposes debt, an addiction that seems unconquerable, an illness that appears incurable. It has been said that “those who know the path to God can find it in the dark.” Even though Job could not see too far ahead, he found the path to God through the darkness of disappointment. Along the way, he imparted a valuable lesson to fellow travelers like you and me.

Job learned that trusting God is more important than understanding God. The intense dialogue between Job and his friends not only reflects his inner turmoil, but also reveals his utmost desire — an explanation for his suffering. When God breaks his silence and speaks to Job “out of the storm,” he does not answer one of Job’s questions. He doesn’t even concern himself with Job’s heartfelt cry, “Why?”

To the casual observer this response from God seems uncaring. But if we look closely at God’s communication with Job, we find that when God speaks out of the storm, his intent is to calm the storm. In order to do that, God must go beyond Job’s questions to the core issue that forms the basis of his inquiry. That core issue was trust.

God could give Job an explanation for his suffering, but Job, being human, would be incapable of really “getting it.” Understanding why will not bring Job’s children back to life. Understanding why will not restore his financial security. Understanding why will not erase the pain from his heart or the nightmares in his head. And so, instead of giving answers, God gives Job peace by reminding him that He is in control.

Trusting God equips us with the proper perspective from which to view disappointment. Like Job, I, too, know the pain of burying a loved one. I, too, know what it is like to be angry with God. I, too, have figuratively “shaken my fist” at God. I, too, know the pain that gives rise to the bitter cry, “Why?” And I, too, have found that trusting God is more important and valuable than questioning how God works. Trusting in God’s promises and provision has enabled me to rise up from the destruction of self-pity and look forward to each new day with anticipation and joy.

In the darkness of despair and disappointment, we can still find the path to God. Job and others like him have taken that trail to prove that it can be done. And the first step is trust. “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him” (Job 13:15)

I’ve been blessed with many opportunities from the Lord to have much rich fellowship with my local brethren, and also with brethren in many varied locations in the United States, in Canada, and in many other parts of the world. Some of this fellowship has been by mail and email, but most has been personal contact, both locally and when I am permitted to travel to various places and spend time with the brethren, or when they are able to stay at our house for a time.

I am greatly blessed in all the time I am able to spend with the brethren, and it seems that for the most part, that they are also somewhat blessed in their fellowship with me. The Lord always seems to provide us with timely joint providences, and with topics of discussion that promote a profitable conversation between us, so that we are able to share blessings from our studies and our experiences. In many repeat opportunities with the same brethren, I am always amazed at how the Lord continues to move the providences and topics along so that with each new visit we are always able to progress to greater depths, heights, and breadths of understanding of His word as it applies to our lives, and in this respect, we are able to continue to be a blessing to each other. In such experiences, I am greatly strengthened in the responsibilities the Lord has given to me, and I eagerly look forward to the next opportunity where such rich blessings might again flow. At such times, I call to mind the encouragement of Isa 40:28-31.

Isa 40:28-31: “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”

But I have to be honest and admit that with all the blessings that do occur in these meetings and correspondences, I often seem to expect even more to happen than does. I expect to see more immediate action and commitment from the brethren to their new understanding of the responsibilities of this race that we are in to gain “the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phs 3:14). I am amazed that I can be so rejoicing inside at one moment because of the greater understanding that I do see in them, and then somewhat sad inside at the next moment for not seeing also more growth and commitment.

I’ve even had brethren ask me at times if I am upset with them about something, because my demeanor may suddenly turn so quiet and serious. It is almost never that I am upset with them. It is suddenly that I consider at what greater position they might be, but I am sad that I don’t seem to be able to bring them to it. I often question whether I am in the right spirit when I am unable to be a blessing to them, or whether I am thinking and speaking too much from my own mind and heart, and thus not conveying the Lord’s spirit with the words I provide.

I’ve learned through experience to reconsider 1 Cor 3:6, 7 at times like this. 1 Cor 3:6: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase.” When I see in the brethren a greater understanding of their need of growth and commitment, I find it is so easy to expect that this will then show immediately in greater activity and commitment. I find that I am looking for the marked ”increase” with each experience, not realizing that I am limited to the planting and watering. The increase is strictly God’s, not mine. And with this remembrance, I am then able to be more at peace, and find rejoicing in the blessing of their increased understanding, and willing to wait more patiently for the Lord to provide the “increase” in commitment and activity to the understanding.

I always pray and desire that I might be only a blessing to all the brethren. But I am acutely aware that this is too often not the case. As much as I desire to bless, I find I am too often still qualified and fit to hurt, in spite of the fact that this is the last thing I want to do. I live with great regret for some time when this happens. It seems it is always due to one of two causes: Either I am running ahead of the Lord and trying to push someone to a level for which God has not yet prepared them, and they react negatively to this. Or I give vent to a human reaction of frustration with them that they do not seem to be living up to the level of spiritual maturity that I see in them. In either case, it is not profitable to them, but hurtful, and it saddens me to realize that I can still be so hurtful. The realization that this is true is humbling, and I am truly grateful for this, but it would be more wonderful to have the increased maturity of spirit that would always bless and never hurt. I pray for this continuously.

I know that if I were less bold to speak and act I might avoid making so many errors of commission. But I know the Lord has called all of us to be bold and unashamed in His service, and with “full assurance of faith” in this, I would fear more to be reticent in speech and action in order to make less errors of commission, for I would then fear of making far more errors of omission, knowing that both are sins before the Lord (Ro 14:23, and Js 4:17).

I pray that I might learn and mature more quickly from public exposure in the errors of commission, what I fear I would only longer hide through errors of omission. I often pray Psa 19:12, 13 for myself: “Who can understand his errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults. Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression”.

I also pray for boldness for those of you who would help me past these hurtful ways, that I might always be a blessing to all of you. Thank you for your consideration of this.

One of the most precious gifts that I have received from my Father is grace. It is a gift that I surely did not deserve and yet he freely gave to me through his Son. It is a gift I can never repay, yet it manufactures an intense desire on my part to pass it on. It is a gift that fills my soul with awe and thanksgiving. It is a gift I cannot keep to myself.

Hebrews 13:9 says, “it is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace.” When I reflect on the grace that has been given to me, my heart is warmed and I am strengthened in my walk. When I lose sight of grace, I become overwhelmed by life. I love these words of Max Lucado, taken from his book, In the Grip of Grace, “Where the grace of God is missed, bitterness is born. But where the grace of God is embraced, forgiveness flourishes. The longer we walk in the garden, the more likely we are to smell the flowers. The more we immerse ourselves in grace, the more likely we are to give grace.”

Receiving grace is good for our hearts, but so is giving grace. We will be strengthened by grace each time we receive it AND each time we pass it on to others. Let’s resolve this day to be filled with God’s wonderful grace. Let us immerse ourselves in his grace, let us be strengthened by the realization that the God of the Universe loved us enough to give us what we did not deserve, life, even though it cost him his beloved Son. God’s grace grabbed us from the prison house of death, from the wall of misery, where we were shackled by sin. It loosed our chains, cleaned us up, gave us a robe of righteousness to wear, and made us children of the King! From the prison house to the palace; now that’s grace!

Grace cost both Father and Son. God had the power to intervene when he saw his Son being beaten and crucified, but he did not so that we might have life: that’s grace. How hard it must have been for him to watch his precious Son go through the humiliation, shame and agony of dying on the cross! Grace came to us at a very dear price! Do we truly appreciate what it cost our Lord Jesus to set us free? Do we understand what he freely chose to go through for us? Grace freely given for the undeserving.

When we truly appreciate what it cost our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ to give us grace, we begin to see that grace is not just a doctrine to be learned, but a doctrine to be lived. We can no longer look at those around us and withhold grace from them. The more we understand the grace that has been so freely bestowed upon us, the more we will shower those around us with grace. We will find ourselves forgiving them as freely as we have been forgiven. When our lives are thus immersed in grace, we will be strengthened in heart. Grace will permeate our lives. Let us remember that the call to those who have received of God’s grace is to live a gracious life. That is how grace works: it cannot be held onto, it must be passed on!

Father, I can never thank you enough for the gift of grace! I know how unworthy I am and yet you gave your Son to save me. That sacrifice made me your daughter. It is so hard to fathom why you would do that for me. What a gift to be a daughter of the King! A gift I want never to take for granted. May I live a life worthy of being your daughter. May I bring honor and glory to you in all that I do and say. Help me to live a life of grace. May I give freely to others what you have so selflessly given to me: your grace. In Jesus' name, Amen.